I can't do this without you
by saskiagrace22
Summary: One shot - my take on what should happen after Nick's departure. This is set 3 months after Nick leaves Holby. Zoe comes to term with her feelings..
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little idea that I came up with will probably only be a chapter or 2 but hope you enjoy :) please review if you like it! Saskia xx**

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"Zoe what's this for?" Sam questioned as Zoe handed over the keys to her office. Just like Nick had done over three months ago with her.

"Keys to the office... It's yours if you want it" She told her "If not give them to Henry" Zoe was rushing around packing all of her belongings from inside the office away into a box. It was beginning to look empty now. It was never really going to be her office no matter how many shoes and scatter cushions she filled it with... it was always going to be Nick's.

"You're leaving?" Sam questioned the obvious as she watched her pack everything away. She didn't quite understand why Zoe was going and so sudden.

"Yeah I just can't do this anymore Sam, there's nothing here for me"

"You're career"

"I'll always have my career, just not in Holby. It's time for me to move on"

"Where are you going to go?" Sam asked.

"Michigan"

"Michigan" Sam repeated. "Isn't that where Mr Jordan..."

"Yeah" Zoe interrupted "thought I'd pay him a visit"

"Pay him a visit? Zoe I know that you two have a past but giving up your life here to go and see him isn't the best idea. Just think about it"

"I have and I'm going. Now if you don't mind im going to go say my goodbyes else I'll miss the flight" Zoe stood in front of Sam, box in her hand waiting for her to move out the way and let her out of the office.

Sam moved out of the way and soon followed Zoe out of the office and into the busy E.D. A lot of their colleagues were gathered around the nurses' station so Zoe gathered that this was her chance to say a quick final goodbye.

"Right can I have everyone's attention please" Zoe called in an authoritive voice and everybody turned to look at her.

"Well as you can probably see from my box, I am leaving" she informed them. Everyone stood in complete silence not knowing what to say. Nobody ever expected Dr Hanna to leave, especially not yet.

"Im not really good with teary goodbyes" She continued. "So look after the place, I'll keep in touch and will hopefully come and visit you all once im settled"

Zoe went around saying goodbye and hugging each and every one of her colleagues. She then made her way out of the ED doors for the last time. This was really it she thought, she was really leaving. Leaving behind so many memories, but she knew that she had to do this, she couldn't stay here without him any longer.

"Zoe" Tess called after her, running across the car park to catch her up.

"Its Nick isn't it" Tess said, but the look on Zoe's face said it all. She hadn't been the same since the day Nick left and everybody could see that.

"I love him Tess" Zoe admitted. "I can't stay here without him" she told her as tears began to stream down her face.

Tess wrapped her arms around Zoe to comfort her as she placed her box on the floor. "I know sweetie but just be careful yeah he's only just lost Yvonne" She advised, rubbing her hand up and down Zoe's back for comfort, as if she was her mother.

"That's why I need to go, he needs me more than ever now" Zoe told her, pulling away from their hug.

"Look after him and promise you'll both come back and visit" Tess asked with her hand on Zoe's shoulder.

"I promise" Zoe smiled, quickly wrapping her arms back around Tess who had now begun to cry. She let go and smiled in reassurance to let her know that she was going to be OK, picked up her box from the floor and unlocked her car. She climbed in and glanced out of the window, flashing Tess a quick smile, who raised her hand to wave goodbye as Zoe quickly sped off out of the car park.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi, yeah can you tell me where a Nick Jordan is staying please? Zoe politely asked the woman at the hotel reception.

The woman looked at her blankly. "I'm sorry madam but that is confidential" she replied.

"Im his doctor" Zoe lied as she pulled out her ID.

The woman continued to stare at her, not knowing what she was trying to get at. "I'm sorry we..." She started, but Zoe soon cut her off. "Listen love he is need of serious medical attention, I need to see him now"

"And like I said it's confidential..." The woman sarcastically replied back.

"Right what do you want then? I can pay you" Zoe attempted to bribe her.

"We don't take bribery either" The receptionist bluntly replied.

"Right here's the deal. You give me 5 minutes to go and see him; feel free to come with me if you like, if I'm not down in 5 minutes then you can come and get me?" Zoe tried to talk the woman around as a last resort. "and I will also book a room and use your spa. Have we got a deal?"

"112" She bluntly said, watching Zoe's every move as she walked off, knowing that she had just broken confidentiality but Zoe was a persuasive woman when she wanted to be.

Zoe took a deep breath in, straightened up her dress and knocked on the door in front of her. Her flight had been long and she was exhausted. She felt nervous, as silly as it sounded; she didn't know how he would react to her turning up out of the blue like this. The door slightly opened, and Nick poked his head through the gap to see who it was, when he saw he opened it more to check it was actually her and he wasn't just imagining things.

"Zoe" Nick choked, in complete shock to see her.

"The one and only" "Can I come in?" Zoe asked, tilting her head slightly.

Nick nodded in response and moved out of the way to let Zoe in, shutting the door behind her. She headed straight over to the large king size bed and sat on the edge, throwing her bag across the room as well as both of her heels. She always did like to make herself at home.

Nick walked over to her and pulled a chair up towards the bed so that he was sat facing her. He was only wearing shorts and hooded jacket, but to Zoe he looked as gorgeous as ever and she couldn't help but stare at him, taking in every detail that she had missed about him. She felt so relieved to see him and he was ok.

"What are you doing here?" Nick asked her, breaking the silence.

"I just couldn't do it Nick" Zoe admitted, looking straight into his eyes for a response. It was hard for her to finally admit this, especially after him only just loosing Yvonne; it felt wrong, but at the same time it felt so right.

"Do what?" Nick asked.

"Stay there without you"

"Oh Zo" Nick breathed, grabbing hold of her hands and rubbing his thumbs across her palms. "You don't need me"

"I do Nick" She continued to cry "I can't imagine life without you"

"I've missed you" Nick admitted as he looked into her eyes and saw the woman that he had fallen in love with all those years ago and really, that feeling had never gone away.

Zoe began to cry and Nick moved closer and began to gently wipe away her tears with the pad of his thumb. He held her face cupped in his hand and looked straight into her eyes. "You are beautiful" He told her. "Who was I kidding?" he questioned himself

Zoe looked at him unaware at what he was getting at.

"I never saw you as a friend"

Zoe looked at him, hurt, she thought he had finally come to the realisation that he didn't need anything to do with her again. There time had long gone.

"I should have never let you go" he said.

Zoe tried to speak, but nothing came out, tears just continued to stream down her face. "I love you" She bravely admitted, knowing that it was a risky move, unaware of his response.

"I love you too silly" Nick smiled, and grabbed her waist, pulling her close for a passionate kiss and Zoe too responded.

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**ok this is where I leave this one guys! Hope you liked it! Nick and Zoe finally get their happy ending! but who knows what happens in Michigan now! **

**Please review if you get the chance :) thanks xx**


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